Catholic Sex Blog

I came across a news report of a teacher of Raffles Institution who had his 2,000-word coming-out blog post removed under pressure from the Ministry of Education. Just google his name “Otto Fong” and you’ll find lots of stuff on it. Is this an injustice that is being done to homosexuals?

We know that for some time, homosexuals have campaigned for and succeeded in obtaining the legal right to ‘marry’ in some countries. Is forbidding homosexuals to marry a injustice done to them?

In Singapore, up until recent years, homosexuals were not even allowed to commit homosexual acts, and it is still, on paper, against the law. Is this an injustice to homosexuals?

Perhaps, but I would propose that the greatest injustice done to homosexuals was not done in recent years, but in 1973. What’s the big thing that happened that year?

In 1973, the American Psychiatric Association (APA) removed homosexuality as a disorder from the Sexual Deviancy section of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. In other words, the APA declared that homosexuality was not a psychological disorder. This declassification is largely based on the research of Alfred Kinsey, who showed (through flawed statistics) that 10 percent of all people are homosexual, hence homosexuality wasn’t so uncommon.

This study was done in 1948 and 1953. More recent studies have been unable to duplicate the statistics that Kinsey acquired. Remember the South Korean scientist who faked his own results regarding cloning? People only realised something was wrong when his results could not be duplicated. Similarly, people are now, or have been since the 1990s, been realising that there is something wrong with Kinsey’s research, since his results could not be duplicated.

The highest percentage of homosexuals in any population in any study that has been properly conducted and verified by its scientific peers is 2.5 percent. And this is the result now, in present day. Do you think there would have been more homosexuals (or people who declare themselves homosexuals) today or back in 1948? Obviously there is something wrong with Kinsey’s data. But what?

The reason that Kinsey’s data is flawed is that he threw out more than 75 percent of samples acquired from the normal population, and kept only those that matched what he wanted. He chose to take samples largely from prisoners, and not only regular prisoners, but those who had been imprisoned for sexual crimes.

Any amateur scientist can see the one fundamental flaw in Kinsey’s research - he didn’t set out to discover the truth. He set out to match the data to fit his own ideas. Having found the data to match his own ideas, and throwing out all the rest, he presented it to the public who eagerly lapped it up without thinking to consider his research techniques. He gave the public what they wanted to hear, not the truth.

Even today, people are citing that “10 percent”. I know of homosexuals who continue to cite it, despite knowing that it is an inaccurate figure. But this 10 percent figure is what resulted in the APA removing homosexuality as a psychological disorder.

I say that this is the greatest injustice done to homosexuals because it indicates to homosexuals that the condition they have is normal. It is not, and I think all homosexuals deep down know this. No homosexual chooses to be the way he or she is.

Leslie Lung, founder of Liberty League, believes that homosexuals are essentially people whose psychological development has been interrupted. Homosexuals, I believe and he agrees, are people who have not accepted themselves as a man or a woman. But Leslie goes one step further and proposes that the best way of helping a homosexual to accept his manhood or her womanhood is to show him or her love, respect, understanding and acceptance.

He should know… for Leslie himself was formerly a sexually-broken transsexual. And a beautiful one to boot. Today, Leslie has devoted his life to working with homosexuals who desire to become whole.

In short, the greatest injustice that has been done to homosexuals, is not preventing them from the legal right ‘to marry’, it is not external pressure to keep their sexual disorder hidden… it is the continued propagation of the lie that homosexual is a valid sexual orientation, rather than sexual brokenness manifesting itself in a psychological disorder. After all, if no one classifies it as a disorder, no one will try to bring order back to it, and almost any homosexual who does want to become sexually whole, will be denied treatment.

Resources:

- more information about Kinsey’s skewed research can be found by googling “Judith Reisman” or visiting her webpage at www.drjudithreisman.com. It is currently under construction, but you can find an older version of the page here.

- Liberty League is a non-profit, non-religious organization dedicated towards helping homosexuals heal their sexual brokenness.

Colossians 2:6-15

You must live your whole life according to the Christ you have received - Jesus the Lord; you must be rooted in him and built on him and held firm by the faith you have been taught, and full of thanksgiving.

Make sure that no one traps you and deprives you of your freedom by some secondhand, empty, rational philosophy based on the principles of this world instead of on Christ.

In his body lives the fullness of divinity, and in him you too find your own fulfilment, in the one who is head of every Sovereignty and Power.

In him you have been circumcised, with circumcision not performed by the human hand, but by the complete stripping of your body of flesh. This is circumcision according to Christ. You have been buried with him, when you were baptised; and by baptism, too, you have been raised up with him through your belief in the power of God who raised him from the dead. You were dead, because you were sinners and had not been circumcised; he has brought you to life with him, he has forgiven us all our sins.

He has overridden the Law, and cancelled every record of the debt that we had to pay; he has done away with it by nailing it to the cross; and so he got rid of the Sovereignties and the Powers, and paraded them in public, behind him in his triumphal procession.
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Luke 6:12-19

Jesus went out into the hills to pray; and he spent the whole night in prayer to God. When day came he summoned his disciples and picked out twelve of them; he called them “apostles”: Simon whom he called Peter, and his brother Andrew; James, John, Philip, Bartholomew, Matthew, Thomas, James son of Alphaeus, Simon called the Zealot, Judas son of James, and Judas Iscariot who became a traitor.

He then came down with them and stopped at a piece of level ground where there was a large gathering of his disciples with a great crowd of people from all parts of Judaea and from Jerusalem and from the coastal region of Tyre and Sidon who had come to hear him and to be cured of their diseases. People tormented by unclean spirits were also cured, and everyone in the crowd was trying to touch him because power came out of him that cured them all.
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Imagine you have a child, and throughout his developmental years, you never said ‘no’ to him. From somewhere you read or heard that if a child hears the word ‘no’ when he makes a request from you, he will grow up with a fear of rejection. So in order to prevent that, you say ‘yes’ to every request. After twenty years of having said ‘yes’, your child asks something of you which you cannot give. Can you say ‘no’? Chances are, you can’t. And your child, whom you’ve never said ‘no’ to, is not your child, but your master; you are his slave.

What does this have to do with today’s readings? In the first reading, St. Paul tells the Colossians: Make sure that no one traps you and deprives you of your freedom by some secondhand, empty, rational philosophy based on the principles of this world instead of on Christ.

What is the philosophy that today’s generation is taught? I think it would be Nike’s tagline “Just do it.” I wrote to an American about sexual freedom recently. Our generation is taught today that sexual freedom means being able to “just do it” without fear of constraints from previous generations or religious beliefs. Today’s generation tends to believe that if they can “just do it”, if they can say ‘yes’ to sex whenever, wherever and however they want to, only then are they sexually free.

However, a generation of people who won’t say ‘no’ to sex, quickly becomes a generation of people who can’t say ‘no’ to sex. A person who can’t say ‘no’ to sex is not sexually free. He or she is a slave to sex. This means that the philosophy that today’s generation is taught is a “secondhand, empty, rational philosophy based on the principles of this world” and it is one that traps them and deprives them of their sexual freedom.

If today’s generation (and I’m not referring just to the youth) is quickly becoming a generation of sex slaves, what then can be done for us? How can we find true freedom if the philosophy of the world only serves to make us slaves? In the gospel reading, we see Jesus and his apostles setting people free of their diseases, their demons, and all that chains them down. Today, we can find freedom from sexual slavery in the Church’s teaching of abstinence.

Abstinence is applicable not only to single persons, but persons who are married as well. The Church teaches abstinence is also healthy for married people. There are times when married people have to abstain from sex, such as when due to illness, pregnancy, travel or other reasons. What would a person who cannot say ‘no’ to sex do in cases when abstinence seems to be the only answer? If you think about it for a moment, you will understand why the media has been glorifying those answers.

Abstinence is the true test of whether one has sexual freedom or not, because abstinence shows that a person can say ‘no’ to sex, even at times when he can say ‘yes’. Freedom means having a choice and being able to make either choice. In Christ we find freedom, not just sexual freedom, but freedom in the best sense of the word.

Today is September 11, the anniversary of the terrorist attacks on America. We also remember that one person that is more dangerous than all the terrorists put together is Alfred Kinsey, the grandfather of the sexual revolution which took place all over the world. The impact of his work on sexual morality has truly devastated the world, and America, much more than any terrorist will ever do.
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Prayer:
Dear Lord, help us to desire true sexual freedom in the way that you offer it to us. Grant us the courage to turn our backs on the secondhand philosophy of the world that we are surrounded with, and turn our eyes to the redemption that you offer us through your cross. Amen.

Give Thanks to the Lord for: Showing us what true sexual freedom is.

I came across a quote by Hugh Hefner the other day and was trying to find it on the Internet. While searching for it, I came across this rather interesting interview with him by On The Media. Here is an extract of it:

WOMAN (from video): The role that you have selected for women is degrading to women because you choose to see women as sex objects.

WOMAN (from video): You make them look like animals! Yes! Women aren’t bunnies. They’re not rabbits. They’re human beings! The day that you are willing to come out here with a cotton tail attached to your rear end–

HUGH HEFNER: We’ve been accused, obviously, of exploiting women, exploiting sex. I think Playboy exploits sex — you know I just think “exploit” is an unfortunate word. Playboy exploits sex like Sports Illustrated exploits sports! [LAUGHTER]

BROOKE GLADSTONE: Now I noticed that you never responded to her specific challenge about the bunny tails. I mean it would, after all, be antithetical to the Playboy aesthetic to attach a little fuzzy ball of cotton to your own tush, wouldn’t it?

HUGH HEFNER: Yes, I think so. [LAUGHTER] [LAUGHS]!

BROOKE GLADSTONE: But is that fair?

HUGH HEFNER: And– that feminist diatribe– didn’t make a lot of sense back then; it seems very foolish today. I think that in the intervening years women really have become truly human. That anti-sexual part of feminism is very antiquated, and quite frankly was anti-revolutionary even at the time. To be truly hu– human, women have to embrace their sexuality. And that’s all Playboy’s really all about. I think it’s one of the reasons why the magazine and the Playboy symbols and why the, the rabbit image are so popular now with young women, and you see Playboy fashions in all the leading women’s magazines. We have come a long ways, baby.

BROOKE GLADSTONE: I think that’s true, but I do think that some of that Playboy style that you’re referring to - the bunny costumes - have a– certainly something to do with kitsch. And what’s more, back in the early days when you were creating that costume and that image, it wasn’t women expressing their own sexuality; it was women putting on the costume that you had designed for them!

HUGH HEFNER: Yes.

BROOKE GLADSTONE: This was, this wasn’t them “embracing their own sexuality.” This was them embracing yours!

HUGH HEFNER: True. That’s right.

Source: http://www.onthemedia.org/yore/transcripts/transcripts_112 803_bunny.html

That last line by Brooke Gladstone and the confirmation by Hefner was what struck me most. Women have been, and are still being, taken for a ride if they thought or think that embracing their sexuality means to conform with the picture that the secular media paints.

I still can’t find my quote. Guess I have to spend $25 and get that book in which I saw it. But from what I remember, it was along the lines of why Hefner chose the rabbit to be the mascot for Playboy - for its “humorous sexual connotation” and due to the image being “frisky and playful”. Of course the rabbit is also hunting game for men.

Women or girls who wear the Playboy symbol on them and don’t know what that symbol means had better beware. It’s like painting a big bull’s eye on them for perverts to come after them, hunting them, and conquering them. They’ll be off with a “C’ya!” before you even have time to put on your clothes.

Incidentally, here’s another one for women: Have you ever wondered why the secular media paints thin to be in?

When you look at paintings of famous artists in the past, we see that they had a very different idea of what it meant for a woman to be beautiful. None of them were slender as they are today. What changed? How did our perception of beauty change?

In pre-modern ages, fat women were judged more attractive than slender women because food was scarcer. Also, women who were bigger in size were more attractive than thin women because they could bear more children and were more physically resilient to handle the effects of bearing many children.

What changed?

Over time, people began to associate large families with poverty. If you have fewer children, you have more money to spend on yourself, they realised. This was also around the time that the fashion industry began to pick up, and of course the drivers of the fashion industry realized this. So what did they do? They promoted the idea that thin was fashionable. Why? Because thinner people are less likely to bear many children, which meant that they had more money to spend. Spend on what? Fashion, of course, keeping up with the latest fashion trends.

Women, you have been exploited, and are still being exploited by men, in your search for independence and freedom from men. Freedom is found only in the truth. Where can you find the truth? Only one man can offer you that freedom. Jesus tells us, “If you make my word your home you will indeed be my disciples, you will learn the truth and the truth will make you free.” (John 8:31-32)

The writer of today’s reflection for the daily scriptural devotion called OXYGEN (also available via email subscription) is “John Tan” who shared in the Singapore Archdiocesan newspaper the story of his addiction to pornography, and how he overcame it.

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25 Mar - Fifth Sunday of Lent

The Lord Who Has Wiped Out Our Past Sinfulness

The utter completeness of Christ’s forgiveness is almost incredible. When he says to us, “Neither do I condemn you”, the past is dead, snuffed out like wick, forgotten. Laughter and song fill our hearts. It seems like a dream.

- the Sunday Missal
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Forgiven and Forgotten

How I wish for a wonderful place
Called the Land of Beginning Again,
Where all our mistakes,
Our sins and our aches,
Could be locked in a case
And dumped in a lake
Never to surface again.

- God takes our sins and dumps them into the deepest lake. The problem: God puts a sign on the lake: “No fishing!”

- When God forgives, God suffers from total amnesia!

- God presses the “erase” button, and the sheet comes out blank!

- taken from “150 More Stories for Preachers and Teachers” by Jack McArdle
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Isaiah 43:16-21

Thus says the Lord,
who made a way through the sea,
a path in the great waters;
who puts chariots and horse in the field
and a powerful army,
which lay there never to rise again,
snuffed out, put out like a wick:

No need to recall the past,
no need to think about what was done before.
See, I am doing a new deed,
even now it comes to light; can you not see it?
Yes, I am making a road in the wilderness,
paths in the wilds.

The wild beasts will honour me,
jackals and ostriches,
because I am putting water in the wilderness
(rivers in the wild)
to give my chosen people drink.
The people I have formed for myself
will sing my praises.
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Philippians 3:8-14

I believe nothing can happen that will outweigh the supreme advantage of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For him I have accepted the loss of everything, and I look on everything as so much rubbish if only I can have Christ and be given a place in him. I am no longer trying for perfection by my own efforts, the perfection that comes from the Law, but I want only the perfection that comes through faith in Christ, and is from God and based on faith. All I want is to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and to share his sufferings by reproducing the pattern of his death. That is the way I can hope to take my place in the resurrection of the dead. Not that I have become perfect yet: I have not yet won, but I am still running, trying to capture the prize for which Christ Jesus captured me. I can assure you my brothers, I am far from thinking that I have already won. All I can say is that I forget the past and I strain ahead for what is still to come; I am racing for the finish, for the prize to which God calls us upwards to receive in Christ Jesus.
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John 8:1-11

Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. At daybreak he appeared in the Temple again; and as all the people came to him, he sat down and began to teach them.

The scribes and Pharisees brought a woman along who had been caught committing adultery; and making her stand there in full view of everybody, they said to Jesus, “Master, this woman was caught in the very act of committing adultery, and Moses has ordered us in the Law to condemn women like this to death by stoning. What have you to say?” They asked him this as a test, looking for something to use against him. But Jesus bent down and started writing on the ground with his finger. As they persisted with their question, he looked up and said, “If there is one of you who has not sinned, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” Then he bent down and wrote on the ground again. When they heard this they went away one by one, beginning with the eldest, until Jesus was left alone with the woman, who remained standing there. He looked up and said, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” “No one, sir,” she replied. “Neither do I condemn you,” said Jesus. “Go away, and don’t sin any more.”
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Someone asked me why did I choose the name “John Tan” when I shared the story of my addiction to pornography. It could be because today’s gospel reading comes from the apostle John.

Since I shared my story publicly for the first time two weeks ago, I’ve come to realise that the problem of pornography is more widespread than I imagined. How many guys have I known without knowing of their addiction? How many women whose marriages have fallen apart because of their husbands’ addiction to pornography?

But the reflection today is not about me. It’s about the love and forgiveness of Jesus Christ. My story revolves around him because, as St. Paul writes in the second reading, “I am no longer trying for perfection by my own efforts”. Indeed it was only when I realised and accepted that I could not overcome my addiction on my own strength and willpower did I open the door to my Lord Jesus to begin his healing work in me. And even today, I dare not say that I have already won, because I still get tempted, and the 10,000 pornographic images that I’ve seen in my 13-year struggle still appear in my mind, although 10,000 is probably an underestimate.

When I reflect on today’s gospel reading, I imagine myself as the woman caught in adultery. I imagine myself as the man caught viewing pornography on his computer, while masturbating with penis in hand. I imagine being dragged in front of a crowd where Jesus sits teaching and made to stand there in full view of everyone. I imagine Jesus looking at me with compassion in his eyes, and then turning to the people looking judgementally at me and saying, “If there is one of you who has not viewed pornography, let him be the first to throw a stone at him.”

And I imagine everyone going away one by one, because they have all viewed pornography and may still be doing so. And finally, all that are left are Jesus and I, and my Lord Jesus says to me, “John, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” I shake my head slowly, and my Lord says to me, “Neither do I condemn you. Go away, and don’t sin any more.”

Laughter and song fills my heart. It seems like a dream. But because my Lord Jesus believed in me, he gave me the strength to overcome my addiction. And indeed no one has condemned me…

(Today’s OXYGEN by “John Tan”)
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Prayer:
Lord Jesus Christ, please allow us to experience your unfailing love for us, that we who are trapped in shame in our addiction to pornography, may experience your healing. Help us to realise that we cannot overcome this problem on our own, and that we need your help found in the people around us who love us and would never cast a stone at us. Amen.

Give Thanks to the Lord for: Those who love us and support us totally.
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Disclaimer: The reflections expressed in this e-mail are the writer’s own. They may not necessarily reflect the teachings of the Catholic Church. Nonetheless we should all be able to learn something from it.

“The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing.”
- Edmund Burke

One of the reasons why the problem of pornography is so widespread today, is because we have done nothing about it. We talk about it, sometimes, and we disapprove of obscene images on the internet or on TV, but we don’t do anything about it. By not doing anything and remaining silent about it, we are actually showing approval about it.

We are either part of the problem or part of the solution.

What then can we do to change from being part of the problem to being part of the solution? Here are some ways. Feel free to add more.

1. When you see a blog with objectionable material, be it text or images, highlight it to the blog administrators. In Blogger and Xanga, you can ‘flag it’. In Wordpress, you can ‘report it as mature’. I am sure every blog provider has something similar.

Don’t worry, you’re not being a prude. You are helping to fight the problem of pornography.

2. When people pass around pornographic images, whether by email or mobile phone, make your disapproval heard and your disgust known. Again, don’t worry about being a prude. You’re being a trend-setter.

3. Talk about it openly with friends. There are three kinds of people whose lives involve porn. The first are those who see nothing wrong with it. They can talk openly about it, and for it. The second are those who indulge in porn and feel guilty about it. They don’t talk openly about it. The third are those who no longer indulge in porn. They too can talk openly about it, and against it. Be the third kind, who are inspirational to the second kind.

4. If you are a parent, do not ignore or brush aside the matter when your children bring it up. Take pains to explore the matter with your children and help them come to realise what’s wrong and evil about porn. Of course this means that you must first know what’s wrong and evil about it yourself. Keep the channel of communication open with your children, who must feel confident about approaching you about the matter.

5. Report porn spam to internet service providers. Provide them with the IP address and sample of the spam. Internet spam clogs up ISPs. ISPs will be more than happy to help get rid of them. Complain to your ISP, and the sender’s ISP.

6. If you see VCD or DVD vendors selling porn material, anonymously tip off the police. Patrolmen will be sent to investigate, and you will discourage these vendors from frequenting your neighbourhood. It might not solve the problem, but it protects that neighbourhood at least.

7. If you see objectionable material being broadcast on television, complain to the relevant authorities. In Singapore, it is the Media Development Authority (MDA) of Singapore. In the U.S., it is the Federal Communications Commission.

8. If you see indecent, but not obscene material, broadcast on television, complain to advertisers who buy air time for commercials on those programmes. Advertisers are very sensitive to complaints. Complaints means that people may be rejecting their products, which means that the huge amounts of money they spend on advertising on TV might be going to waste.

Note: Advertisers frequently buy TV time months in advance, booking a specific time slot without knowing what programmes are going to fill that slot. If you get that response, tell advertisers that they should monitor the programmes they sponsor more closely and, when needed, screen individual programmes prior to airing.

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